He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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