I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
