mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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