i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
