i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
