I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
