kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
