Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
