Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
