Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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