nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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