Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
