I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
