Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
