I will die if light touches me.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He did a backflip because drugs
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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