Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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