All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
