You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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