He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
