I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
