How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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