Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
