last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
