Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
