Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
