This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
