the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i need some magic done to my vagina
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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