I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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