so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
