You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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