i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
