I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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