That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
