ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
