Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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