i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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