the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
