you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
