so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
