i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
