I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thus making me awesome and them whores
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
