Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
