i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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