and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just had sex bonerless
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
