You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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