I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
