I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just tell him i said nine months
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize