Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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