tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm having to shit out rocks
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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