All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
