she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
