I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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