sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
